Ah yes, Crowborough: sleepy Sussex town, rolling hills, cups of tea and, apparently, a live-action medieval re-enactment society with a side hustle in political theatre.
Over the past few months, the town has been treated to a series of demonstrations protesting the proposed housing of asylum seekers at the local army base. On the surface, one might assume these are the organic stirrings of concerned residents. Scratch that surface, however, and you find something closer to a far-right Comic-Con, minus the self-awareness.
Ultra far-right line-up
The speaker line-up alone reads like a ‘who’s who of people you don’t invite to dinner’: Nick Tenconi (UKIP / Turning Point UK), Mike Gott (British Movement), Liam Gillett aka Tuffs (associate of Tommy Robinson), Sarah White (Advance UK), and the intriguingly named Pink Ladies. It’s less parish council and more political tribute act to every nationalist WhatsApp group in Britain. We are assured these figures are merely patriotic. One suspects the dictionary may disagree.
If the guest list wasn’t subtle enough, some demonstrators have reportedly taken to dressing as Knights Templar and Crusader-era soldiers. Nothing says “measured 21st-century policy discussion” quite like cosplay from the 12th century. One can only assume the chainmail gets quite warm during a strongly-worded chant. It’s unclear whether planning permission was also sought for the time machine.
In a particularly curious scene, Sarah White appeared sporting an ICE baseball cap, as if subtlety had already left the building and taken the fire exit with it. When your political messaging is indistinguishable from an internet meme, it may be time to reassess the branding strategy.
Neighbourhood Watch with a Marvel complex
Meanwhile, Crowborough now boasts what is being described as a Fast Reaction Team. This sounds impressive until you realise it translates roughly to ‘Neighbourhood Watch with a Marvel complex’. Self-appointed guardians of the realm, they patrol not so much to calm fears as to audition for a reboot of Dad’s Army, if Dad’s Army had access to Facebook Live.
And while the rhetoric escalates, the A26 continues its weekly transformation into a slow-moving car park. Sunday drives have become Sunday sieges, and local traffic may soon require its own humanitarian corridor. One does wonder how a major thoroughfare keeps getting repurposed as a stage for political pantomime. Oh no it isn’t. Oh yes it is.
Genuine local concerns have been hijacked
At the heart of it all, genuine local concerns – however sincerely held – appear to have been enthusiastically adopted, amplified, and accessorised by activists with considerably broader agendas. It’s rather like lending someone your garden shed and discovering they’ve turned it into a fortress.
As for those residents who feel uneasy but prefer not to wear chainmail while expressing it, anonymity seems less dramatic – but perhaps considerably wiser.
Crowborough may have wanted a civic conversation. Instead, it seems to have booked a medieval pageant with traffic disruption and a nationalist keynote speaker. Tickets, apparently, are free.
Continuing disruption
It feels like a lifetime ago that these protests started and yet here we are, still having to put up with the disruption on a weekly basis, being afraid to go into the town centre and having to think twice about who you can talk to on the subject. It is now rumoured that local businesses who don’t buy into the far-right rhetoric are being targeted by the demonstrators.
I would be particularly interested to know how much it is costing the taxpayer to police the demonstrations, and how it is possible to block the A26. You have to plan your escape from Crowborough if you want to go out on a Sunday.
I, for one, am ashamed to say I live here.
I have chosen to remain anonymous because, in the current climate, expressing mild concern without chainmail and a megaphone feels like an extreme sport. I have no particular desire to be denounced on Facebook, glared at in Waitrose, or pursued down the high street by the Fast Reaction Team on mobility scooters. Discretion, in these chivalrous times, seems the better part of valour.
CLICK HERE TO DONATE TO OUR CROWDFUNDER
HELP US BECOME STRONGER SO THAT WE CAN CONTINUE TO DELIVER POWERFUL CITIZEN JOURNALISM!
