Hello. My name is Kate, I love bunnies, art and crochet, and my family and I have autism. This means I have special needs that neurotypical individuals do not encounter.
I’m sensitive to loud noises, I’m more prone to anxiety and mood swings and I process information differently than others. Being autistic in a crazy, fast-paced world can feel lonely. We autistic people are expected to fit in with the rest of society’s odd hierarchy but what if we just can’t?
If you have autism or are the parent/guardian of someone who does, then keep reading this article and I’ll show you that you’re not alone. I hope you find this article relatable and know that you’ll be safe here.
My educational experience
If you’re in education or have been in education, have you always felt like you were treated as a burden? Although they have legal duties not to discriminate, state schools in the UK tend to have pretty poor knowledge about people with mental disabilities, especially the one I went to.
My secondary school years were possibly the worst years of my life. The students were quite immature and some of the teachers were even worse. Due to my autism spectrum disorder (ASD) diagnosis not being fully confirmed until I left education, I was often mocked and discriminated against by staff who knew I had autism but still didn’t believe it just because it wasn’t on paper.
I would often be left in rooms for hours without anyone checking in on me. Whenever I would ask a question I would be met with scoffs and eye rolls. One member of staff once yelled at me in front of the whole class because I couldn’t physically speak up in front of people (what’s ironic is that he was supposed to be a health and social care teacher who learns about these disabilities.) Even though state schools should be checked by Ofsted for discrimination and potential ableism, staff in schools like mine don’t live up to the standards afterwards.
I once cried uncontrollably during a speech to the class. I told them I couldn’t handle it but the staff still forced me to read it aloud anyway. I felt embarrassed and ashamed for something I couldn’t control. I felt so alone: everyone else seemed to be fine but me. But I wasn’t the problem, I just couldn’t fit into their checklist and I was punished for it.
State schools NEED to be watched. This educational trauma had broken me for years but I’m now putting myself back together by staying home and just enjoying my hobbies and pets. It was hard being in an environment where nobody cared about anything and I cared about everything. These schools do need to change.
What to understand about autism
If you’re a parent or guardian of someone with autism and are potentially unsure on how to support them sometimes, I’ll tell you how my neurodiverse mind reacts to certain circumstances due to my unique brain patterns. Autistic people tend to think mostly with ‘black and white thinking’. We find it hard to differentiate the ‘good’ from the ‘bad’ and it’s frightening. We find it hard to seek grey areas where there is not necessarily anything good or bad happening.
For example, I know I struggle with age ratings on movies: I don’t understand why a movie is rated a 12 when it’s got violence beyond something a 12-year-old should watch. It will make my anxiety rise and freak me out whereas someone neurotypical wouldn’t find much issue. If you don’t know how to react to this, just tell yourself or the person experiencing the anxiety to notice five things around them that they can sense, bringing them back into reality and out of their head.
Autistic people aren’t given enough credit. We think differently but that’s not bad at all, it’s amazing. People don’t know how hard it is for us to just step outside sometimes, how hard it is to be surrounded by so many sensory triggers when in a crowd. It takes tons of courage and an extreme amount of energy that isn’t praised enough. It’s exhausting to socialise.
The outside world is chaotic and noisy to a neurotypical person but it’s far more terrifying for someone neurodivergent. Imagine the sound of a motorbike driving past – its roaring engine is unbearable to someone neurotypical but the sound is 50 times louder for autistic individuals. That’s what every sound is like for someone with autism. You can see why it’s exhausting.
Autism is a superpower
Autism isn’t a burden, it’s a superpower. People with autism tend to be incredibly smart (not to toot my own horn) and too smart for this insane society that has insane pressures and ideals that autistic people can see are just completely ridiculous. People with autism are often degraded by staff at work or in education because they can see past this corporate world that almost everyone else has fallen victim to and it scares them.
I believe the world will fully sympathise and understand what it’s like for someone to live with autism eventually but until then, if you have autism, remember that you are beautiful in your uniqueness, you don’t need to fit into the world, you just need to find the world that fits you.
Kate would welcome contacts from readers who would like to speak to somebody with understanding about their experiences and without any judgement. Email her via editor@sussexbylines.co.uk
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