Time is what so many of us in today’s busy world lack. Time to stop and look around us, connect with others, build relationships. And the result is that many in our society feel lonely and isolated, especially the elderly.
According to Age UK, more than two million people in England over the age of 75 live alone, and more than a million older people say they go over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member.
It was a situation that struck Emily Kenward, the founder and CEO of Sussex-based charity Time to Talk Befriending, one day in 2011. She was walking down Lavender Street in Brighton, a street that was very familiar to her – she had walked it a thousand times before – but glancing up at the high-rise council flats she was passing, something suddenly struck her.
She noticed that many had their curtains closed, which prompted her to wonder about the lives of those living in the flats. She knew that the area had a high population of elderly people, and yet realised that she rarely saw them out in the community. Were many living in isolation behind those closed curtains, perhaps trapped in high rise buildings with faulty lifts and access difficulties?
An extraordinary initiative
Not content to leave it as a vague speculation, Kenward embarked on an extraordinary initiative. Bringing together charities and churches, she identified where older people lived, then gathered volunteers to visit a thousand homes and invite them to a special afternoon tea. 94 people attended, with an average age of 83.
One guest was a petite Irish woman named Margaret, who typified the group. Her husband had died and health problems impacted her mobility. Margaret often went months without seeing another person. What she longed for, she told volunteers, was a visitor. A friendly face to talk to. Someone to bring the outside world into her lonely home.
Sadly, Margaret’s experience isn’t unique. And while practical help is essential, what really makes a difference is simple human connection. Realising this, Kenward founded Time to Talk Befriending in December 2013, since when over 2,500 older people have been supported to “feel in the world again”.
A reason to live
Thanks to the generosity and kindness of volunteer befrienders and chaplains giving their time, older people who the charity has helped say that they feel like they have value and purpose again: “a reason to live.”
Kenward says: “Before older people are referred to our service they are often hidden behind the four walls of their homes, invisible to the outside world. So, it is a privilege to provide opportunities for meaningful connections across the generations. As a result, we literally see lonely people come to life again.”
King’s Award
In recognition of their outstanding work in the local community, the charity has just been awarded a King’s Award for Voluntary Service. The award is the equivalent of an MBE for charities, and Time to Talk Befriending will receive it from the King’s representative, the Lord Lieutenant of Sussex, in a formal ceremony in the new year.
Kenward says that she is proud to accept the award on behalf of the loyal and dedicated volunteers who provide over 20,000 hours of mutually rewarding, smile-inducing, befriending and chaplaincy visits to older people in their homes, every year.
Compassion and commitment
Volunteer Ellen Stewart, who has been with the charity since its foundation, expresses the importance of the work to her: “As a befriender your presence helps your scheme member feel part of the wider community again. It’s amazing how such a small commitment can become so meaningful. It is hugely rewarding.”
Helen Mason, who benefits from Time to Talk Befriending services and who contributed towards the application and assessment for the Kings Award, sums up the enormous value of the charity’s work to those involved: “Having a volunteer befriender and being part of the charity has completely transformed my life. The words I would use to describe my experience of Time to Talk Befriending are ‘cherish, comfort, compassion, and commitment’ – the charity has shown me all of these.”
Time to Talk Befriending are always looking for volunteers who have compassion for older people and can give an hour once a fortnight to befriending, to join their community. To find out more visit: https://www.tttb.org.uk/volunteer or call 01273 737710.
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